Lately I’ve been struggling with accepting opinions from others. I’m usually pretty good at ignoring negativity but for some reason I feel the need to say something and it’s not always nice. I believe it’s annoying for me when it’s an unwarranted opinion from a person whose point of view I don’t value or care for. This sounds mean but is very true. Now of course I haven’t expressed it in that way to those individuals but it’s made me doubtful about my decisions and is ultimately altering my thinking. That’s how I discovered it was an issue.
For instance I made the decision to move yet again and I knew I would get mixed responses, which is why I refrained from bringing up the topic. It seems as if some people feel the need to give “advice” on something they know little to nothing about. Once they see that their words of wisdom aren’t transpiring in that way they tend to back up the statement with “you got to do what’s best for you”, as if I didn’t have my best interest at heart from the beginning. Now this is not to be confused with the questioning or just flat out nosiness from others. That is separate and doesn’t bring out any real reaction from me because I pick and choose what parts of my life I want to share. I’m speaking on those who appear to know so much about your decision, in my case the area Im moving to, but only know through word of mouth or the ever so reliable google. To make matters worse they ask you the common sense questions, which is a direct insult to my intelligence.
It seems as if the instances only come up when I’m attempting to move forward and do something positive with my life. I got the same questioning and criticism when I embarked on a new career, developed a new hobby, got a new car, even when I changed my hairstyle. I’m sure you have experienced similar situations, and found yourself wanting to say, “Who asked you”? Let’s not even discuss if you give a rude look or response to their statement. You’re then viewed as being sensitive, guarded, immature and just flat out unsure of your decisions so you’re taking it out on others. I found myself having to meditate just to get some more positive vibes going because too many opinions can be distracting and discouraging.
I found that many times people aren’t meaning to be rude they are just trying to understand your reasoning. The only thing is you don’t have to explain that to anyone. I probably received the most criticism from loved ones and colleagues when I decided to become a flight attendant. I got questioned so many times about my decision and my response was always “it’s something I always wanted to do”. Instead of accepting that they dug deeper. It’s as if you don’t have some life changing reasoning, it’s not good enough and it’s ridiculous to even think that way. No one should have to justify any decisions they are making especially if it is bringing them joy and causing no harm. Just know that what makes sense to you will never add up completely to others who aren’t on the same page.
People who are content or happy with where they are currently, sometimes forget the sacrifices and hard work they had to put in to get to that point. Just like you had to get to the place that you’re in now, allow myself and others to do the same. If I make a mistake it’s all apart of growing and learning. Allow me to do that without pressure. Telling me the cons doesn’t shorten my list of pros and doesn’t readily change my mind. That can sometimes come off as controlling even if it’s from a good place. Too many people are held back in life simply from things they’ve heard but never experienced for themselves. You can only see from someone else’s perspective for so long before it’s time for you to tap into your own.
Before questioning or judging consider the state that the person is in and how you would take it if the roles were reversed. If they don’t ask for your opinion it’s probably because they don’t want it. Truth is opinions aren’t fact and although you may feel strongly about it, the person on the receiving end May not feel the same. Most of the time people just need encouraging words and positive energy to keep their spirits lifted. Once words are spoken they can’t be taken back, so watch what you say. What seems simple to you can have a strong impact on someone else. You never know what someone could be going through. Everyone doesn’t need advice, just encouragement and there is a difference. If no one asked for your opinion it’s best to just keep it to yourself.