Being Unhappy With Self: The Single Self

So I’m going to make this a three part series because I have a lot more to say on this topic than I thought. I started out making a post and it was beginning to get too long so I figured I would focus on each topic on a post by itself. I hope that whoever reads this and finds themselves in it, feel encouraged and persuaded to be happy with who they are. So let’s jump right into it.

I see so many people who are unhappy with their lives and it’s saddening. It could be because they are single, not as wealthy, or not the ideal image they have set for themselves. I will be the first to admit that I’ve been one of those people and truth be told in some instances I still am. I think what saddens me the most is that I see myself in them. You see people who idolize stars and even everyday people with status and assume they want to be that person.

When they start mimicking their actions, the assumption is that they have no identity of their own and they want to be like them. You then think they are crazy and have some sort of an obsession and that’s just not the case. It’s not the person they are after, it’s there method to success. We feel as if portraying the same image and repeating similar actions will bring similar mates, status, and even wealth. I say we because I am still on the path to success and battling with wanting the same progress as others. For instance I see people with more followers and feedback on their blogs and I aspire to have the same, so when I see certain methods that work for them, I emulate it in some way.

Since I started out mentioning being single, I will start with that topic. I myself am single, so I can whole-heartedly understand. I see so many people attack others for posting about couples in pictures and saying #goals, then accusing them of wanting to be like that person. Now I agree, it can be a bit much but it’s because you may not understand exactly what that person means. They don’t want the relationship or to be able to take similar photos, they want the happiness and not that persons happiness. You can’t even pay homage to someone else without seeming obsessed or delusional.

People act as if admiring someone else is a psychological disorder. Some people are more passionate than others. So whereas I may post one photo about a person or couple I admire someone else may post 3-5. No they aren’t crazy, they are expressive, passionate, and inspired. That same energy can be aimed towards a mate and make someone extremely happy. The sad part is the ones doing the ridiculing aren’t always happy themselves. They just hate the constant of reminders of what they don’t have either.

Then you have those that tell you constantly being single is a good thing, you can be selfish, you can find yourself, but for how long? I agree with all of those statements and I can honestly say I enjoy my single life, but there are moments when I would like the company of someone else. For me there are only moments because when I get too much company, I instantly want my time back. For those who aren’t as inconsistent as me, you may be sick of hearing how great it is to be single and I get it! It’s annoying. It’s truthful but it’s not always helpful. You don’t have to be single to have a life and still accomplish goals and find yourself. It almost sounds as if being in a relationship separates you from yourself and replaces it with “us”.

If you find that not being with someone is making you unhappy or even miserable, think of what in another person can fill that void. Is it sexual, companionship, security, all three. Determine what you have to offer, what about you can make someone else happy. One thing I’ve noticed is that the type of guys I attract are starting to change In a good way which lets me know I’m being viewed differently. I’m doing something right and I’m on the right path. For me that’s the first step. To get more of what I wanted I had to change more about myself and I had to come out of hiding. I love to travel but I don’t like going out much. If I wanted to meet people I had to hangout in some of the same spots.

Change your daily routine often. Dating sites can be helpful but if you want a more discreet way, join some organizations in your community and find networking opportunities. Travel more frequently! Sometimes who you want isn’t necessarily in your city. All these things not only help towards finding your mate but helps you to enjoy life more. Even if you’re goal is to find someone, these things help you to have fun doing it! Enjoy being single while trying to catch the eye of someone special. It’s those moments when you’re just enjoying life and happy with your current state, that someone else may come along and want to join ☺️


2 Comments Add yours

  1. conqueringourdemons says:


    Liked by 1 person

    1. jusbnicole says:

      Yes! That’s the key!


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